I don't know what else to do or how to keep on keeping on. It all seems so futile. We're contemplating a move in with my parents. It does not feel good to be nearly 28 years old and still floundering, still living with the parents, still needing help. My own two feet haven't been very sturdy to stand on, it seems. How much longer before they tire of my bullshit?
I need to remind myself, it has only been a few months. We have been pretty tight with money since we married five years ago, but we only actually required help one other time. I haven't failed my life. I've hit a rough spot that requires the help of those who love me.
Tomorrow is January sixth, the Parra tradition. We began it only last year, but I'm looking forward to it. We make traditional food, take down our tree, give Sofia a small present (this year is a garage sale find from the summer; a tricycle!) from Los Reyes and remind ourselves how blessed we are to have each other. So, I'm baking and trying to pretend that my life isn't falling apart.
I've got to ditch the last shreds of my pride that remain with me and move back to the town I grew up in, the place I thought I left forever at 18.
Wish me luck.

2 comments:
It will get better. Positive things to look at, your beautiful daughter, your gorgeous husband and your wonderful family who is there to help you whenever you need them. Don't worry about being 28 and still needing you folks, I am 41 and still need mine. ;)
If there is anything I can do to help you out, packing, cleaning, painting or fixing please let me know. Now that the Holidays are over my weekends are wide open so I am here if you need me. That is what friends are for so remember I think of you as my friend, so put me to work! ;)
Becca, You are an awesome person, mother, wife, daughter and friend! There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help from your family. I know they are glad to help you, and think of how happy they will be being able to watching little Sofia grow up! I wish you the best of luck!
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