So, I wrote that last post on August 17, actually one day after Sofia's birthday. I didn't get around to actually posting it until today. Finding actual thoughts to put together is difficult. Finding nouns and putting together sentences is sometimes impossible. Remembering things? A thing of the past. I went to the grocery store today without a list. I floundered around, circling the place several times and walked out with milk (which we needed! score!) and some other random crap. I cannot be trusted.
40 weeks 2 days. Not particularly late, but more than ready. Today, I've been having increased contractions and more pain. I also had several bouts of shortness of breath and racing heart that made me sit down. I keep trying to convince this kid that it is time to evict, time to meet the rest of us. She's unconvinced. I have an OB appointment tomorrow, and am hoping to get some sort of plan of action. Actually, I'm hoping to be 7 cm dilated and sent to the hospital for the most painless labor ever, but that seems unlikely.
Hello? Labor? I'm ready and waiting!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Happy Birthday, Princess!
Sofia turned four yesterday. How did that happen? Wasn't she just born? She has been extraordinarily excited about her birthday for months, and yesterday was no disappointment. She woke up at 6 am, and asked her usual morning question, "Is it 7 o'clock yet?" I answered that no, it wasn't, go back to bed. "But Mommy, today's my birfday, vemember?!" Yes, of course I remember, but Go. Back. To. Sleep.
At 7:15, her curly head got out of bed and found the balloons we had waiting for her. She squealed with excitement. She gave kisses, hugs, thanked us for saying happy birthday to her. She ran around the house shrieking with joy and saying "Happy Birthday to me!" We frosted her cupcakes and prepared for her party. The friends arrived at 10 am, and they had a marvelous time playing bubbles, running around in the gorgeous day, and playing in her room. Sofia was just so excited. We had lunch (though I don't think any of the girls ate much), cupcakes (of which the kids just licked off the frosting), and sang happy birthday. Sofia wore her birthday crown, which she insisted upon, and looked ever the princess. Then, finally, she was allowed to open her presents. From us, she got a big-girl bicycle, which she adores. She still hasn't quite figured out how to make it go on the gravel, but she's outside with her daddy right now practicing. She also got a princess helmet and bell to go with it, and she's certain that the helmet helps her ride better and will keep her from falling. She had quite the birthday. I was even able to convince her to take a much-needed nap with me for a couple hours in the afternoon. Grandma got home from work in the afternoon, and we had yet another plate of cupcakes complete with candle-blowing and singing, where she got to open the present from Grandma and Grandpa. She was so excited. Her unbridled joy was such a fun thing to experience.
Sofia is quite the four-year old. She is starting to figure out reading, and absolutely loves to read stories. She can write her name now, and is practicing the other letters. She creates fanciful games to play, and narrates to herself what she is doing at all times. It is hysterical. She loves playing babies and doll house and reading stories to herself. She loves helping in the garden, which requires some patience, but Sofia claims herself to be an excellent corn husker and tomato picker, so it is worth it. She loves playing with her friends, though she doesn't get to do it as often as she should. Jay and Ella still reign supreme in her heart.
We're going through changes. She's about to start 4K, and she's really nervous. She says she doesn't want to go, that she wants to go to her old preschool. I'm trying to tell her how much fun she'll have, but she'll have to see for herself. She is very excited to be a big sister, and is constantly hugging and kissing my belly, and loves to look at the baby's clothes and toys and even mundane things like diaper cream. Because of these changes, however (and lord, how I hope it is because of the changes), Sofia has been whiny. And whinier. And manipulating of Mommy. She wants to control what I do and when I do it. Sometimes I wonder if she even has a voice that doesn't whine. You know that nursery rhyme? "There once was a girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good, and when she was bad she was horrid." That describes Sofia perfectly. Except that the good times can make me forget the bad ones instantly.
I love you, precious girl. You are going to be a fantastic big sister, but you'll always be my baby. Forever. Happy 4th birthday, sweetheart.
At 7:15, her curly head got out of bed and found the balloons we had waiting for her. She squealed with excitement. She gave kisses, hugs, thanked us for saying happy birthday to her. She ran around the house shrieking with joy and saying "Happy Birthday to me!" We frosted her cupcakes and prepared for her party. The friends arrived at 10 am, and they had a marvelous time playing bubbles, running around in the gorgeous day, and playing in her room. Sofia was just so excited. We had lunch (though I don't think any of the girls ate much), cupcakes (of which the kids just licked off the frosting), and sang happy birthday. Sofia wore her birthday crown, which she insisted upon, and looked ever the princess. Then, finally, she was allowed to open her presents. From us, she got a big-girl bicycle, which she adores. She still hasn't quite figured out how to make it go on the gravel, but she's outside with her daddy right now practicing. She also got a princess helmet and bell to go with it, and she's certain that the helmet helps her ride better and will keep her from falling. She had quite the birthday. I was even able to convince her to take a much-needed nap with me for a couple hours in the afternoon. Grandma got home from work in the afternoon, and we had yet another plate of cupcakes complete with candle-blowing and singing, where she got to open the present from Grandma and Grandpa. She was so excited. Her unbridled joy was such a fun thing to experience.
Sofia is quite the four-year old. She is starting to figure out reading, and absolutely loves to read stories. She can write her name now, and is practicing the other letters. She creates fanciful games to play, and narrates to herself what she is doing at all times. It is hysterical. She loves playing babies and doll house and reading stories to herself. She loves helping in the garden, which requires some patience, but Sofia claims herself to be an excellent corn husker and tomato picker, so it is worth it. She loves playing with her friends, though she doesn't get to do it as often as she should. Jay and Ella still reign supreme in her heart.
We're going through changes. She's about to start 4K, and she's really nervous. She says she doesn't want to go, that she wants to go to her old preschool. I'm trying to tell her how much fun she'll have, but she'll have to see for herself. She is very excited to be a big sister, and is constantly hugging and kissing my belly, and loves to look at the baby's clothes and toys and even mundane things like diaper cream. Because of these changes, however (and lord, how I hope it is because of the changes), Sofia has been whiny. And whinier. And manipulating of Mommy. She wants to control what I do and when I do it. Sometimes I wonder if she even has a voice that doesn't whine. You know that nursery rhyme? "There once was a girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very, very good, and when she was bad she was horrid." That describes Sofia perfectly. Except that the good times can make me forget the bad ones instantly.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
More of the same
Still pregnant. Still enormous. Little girl is pressing down big time on my bladder and pelvic muscles. It hurts to walk. I can't reach the sink to wash the dishes. I'm so ready to get this child out.
I was über cranky on Monday, with emotions running wild with tears I just couldn't stop. I was just desperate to get the baby out. It was one of those days. Not a good day. Sofia told me I just had to cheer up, and then I'd have a good day! I had a doctor's appointment, where we discovered that hey! She's low! I'm also 50% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated. I also lost three pounds. We planned to tour the hospital afterwards, but when I called, they said they had no rooms to show me, and no staff to spare. Seriously, we've tried three times now, and they've always been too full. Will I have to labor in the hallway?
This child could hold out for another three weeks. Yikes. Due date is now nine days away. I can make it. I can. Really.
I was über cranky on Monday, with emotions running wild with tears I just couldn't stop. I was just desperate to get the baby out. It was one of those days. Not a good day. Sofia told me I just had to cheer up, and then I'd have a good day! I had a doctor's appointment, where we discovered that hey! She's low! I'm also 50% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated. I also lost three pounds. We planned to tour the hospital afterwards, but when I called, they said they had no rooms to show me, and no staff to spare. Seriously, we've tried three times now, and they've always been too full. Will I have to labor in the hallway?
This child could hold out for another three weeks. Yikes. Due date is now nine days away. I can make it. I can. Really.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Drop it, girl!
And...the baby dropped. Big time. Look at this!
Please to ignore the stretch marks.
I'm very ready. I promised myself I wouldn't get overly anxious this time, that I'd let the baby decide and try not to obsess over when labor will start, is labor starting? how much longer until labor starts? Turns out, it's not that easy. I'm just over 38 weeks now, pretty early for any baby to make an appearance. I probably have another two weeks. I can be patient. I can. Really.
But I don't want to be! :) I want to hold this little girl, welcome her into our family. Not be pregnant anymore. Though, I know I should be relishing in every minute that I'm pregnant with this girl. This could be my last pregnancy, our last child. We could stop at two. That is a decision we'll make down the road, but still. This could be it. Every time I feel her sweet little feet, I rejoice. Every instant she is a part of not just my soul, but of my body, is a miracle in itself. I love being pregnant.
I'm just ready. Show me a pregnant woman not anxious to meet her baby at 38 weeks - I don't think they exist. All part and parcel of the amazing journey of creating a baby.
I love you, Amalia Susan. I am so honored to be your mama, and so grateful that you are growing healthily and perfectly inside my body. I am so excited to meet you, to hold you, to cradle you, to kiss you. We're ready whenever you are.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
So close I can taste it! yet so far away...
I spent much of last night awake, feeling my rock-hard belly as it had yet another contraction, lasting most of the night. I tried not to be excited, to go to sleep, remind myself that this was probably not it, that baby probably still has a while to go. I couldn't help it. Each tightening made me smile, and as they started to hurt, I felt butterflies in my stomach. And then...morning. Gah. Not only am I not in labor, but now I'm tired. Ah, well. It is still far too early to be optimistic (I'll be 38 weeks on Friday), but I can't help thinking that it is going to be soon. Relatively soon, anyway. Within three weeks or so.
So, I'm spending this morning trying to decide what to put into a hospital bag. A going home outfit? For me? I just don't have enough clothes to put something in a bag that I won't see for awhile. Toiletries? I need my contacts and glasses every day until then. Nursing bras? Yeah, I'd better find some of those. I hear Target is a good place. So far, my bag has my slippers, socks, the one nursing/sleeping bra I could find from last time, the boppy pillow without a cover, and some sample shampoos. I'm washing baby things to pack for the little one. I have to dig out the car seat and wash the cover. I did manage to find the Ergo and a diaper bag, both of which are currently in the washing machine. I think I might be starting to feel that nesting instinct that people talk about, though instead of crazily cleaning, I am just panicking and walking around aimlessly. Less productive.
Every morning, when she wakes up, and before she starts screaming for no apparent reason, Sofia cradles my belly, gives it a kiss, and says, "Good morning, Amalia." C'mon, sweetie. We are all so ready to meet you, even though we may not be actually ready. Must go put in another load of laundry and find the bassinet.
So, I'm spending this morning trying to decide what to put into a hospital bag. A going home outfit? For me? I just don't have enough clothes to put something in a bag that I won't see for awhile. Toiletries? I need my contacts and glasses every day until then. Nursing bras? Yeah, I'd better find some of those. I hear Target is a good place. So far, my bag has my slippers, socks, the one nursing/sleeping bra I could find from last time, the boppy pillow without a cover, and some sample shampoos. I'm washing baby things to pack for the little one. I have to dig out the car seat and wash the cover. I did manage to find the Ergo and a diaper bag, both of which are currently in the washing machine. I think I might be starting to feel that nesting instinct that people talk about, though instead of crazily cleaning, I am just panicking and walking around aimlessly. Less productive.
Every morning, when she wakes up, and before she starts screaming for no apparent reason, Sofia cradles my belly, gives it a kiss, and says, "Good morning, Amalia." C'mon, sweetie. We are all so ready to meet you, even though we may not be actually ready. Must go put in another load of laundry and find the bassinet.
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