Not about what you might think, but we may have a new development over here...potty training success! Now, lest I proclaim "Mission Accomplished" while the troops are still in battle, it does appear that we are headed in that direction. We made it all day with only one accident (the number two kind, of course), and potty success at every attempt. Without tears! Much better than my near-tearful confession yesterday morning as a wet-panted girl waltzes into the livingroom not two minutes after we came off the potty because "i can't do it!" that THIS. IS. NOT. GOING. WELL. We should quit. Bah.
Never mind that we are still in the bare-bottomed stage, which means she cannot miss that she is peeing, with no diaper or training panty to lessen the drench. We may have a wrench thrown into our success as she goes back to daycare. But! We are committed! And the most exciting part, Sofia is committed, too. I thought it was a one-way street, but it appears that my big girl is officially putting on her big girl panties. Pun intended, of course.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Mid-January Check-up
The month of January is half over, which is a good time for New Year's Resolution monitoring.
Number one resolution: grow a backbone. On this front, I'm succeeding, mostly. Little by little, anyway. I stood up for myself, and am continuing to stand up for myself at my current job. That is good. There is room for improvement, however. I need to be able to keep that backbone, and transfer it to other situations. Like moving forward, for instance. I need to make two phone calls that I'm scared to make. One to the technical college where I hope to enroll as soon as possible, and the other to the county to see if we can possibly keep our badgercare insurance, especially now that I am moving to part time and becoming a student. Hopefully. Goal: By the middle of next week, have made both of those phone calls, with movement toward action.
Number two resolution: the perpetual 'lose 30 pounds' resolution. That one isn't going so well. I have a sweet tooth that you wouldn't believe. I crave fat, sugar, and all things bad for me. I don't make time for exercise.
I can do this. I can take control of myself, control my cravings and get my butt in gear, literally. I always feel better when I exercise, so why is it so hard to motivate to do? It shouldn't be.
Goals for this week: 1) Drink water all day. That will help to curb my fake hunger. Perhaps, when craving a snack-upon, drink a glass of water first. 2) Just say no. Recognize the cravings, then remember how much I'd like to lose this extra weight. How I hate to look at pictures of myself. How I want to not feel fat. And, 3) Exercise each day. Even if just a little. 10 minute walk here, 10 minutes of jumping on the trampoline there. Just something.
Humph. Not half an hour later, and I'm eating at tootsie roll. Boo. But, I did get a glass of water. Step one. I'll enjoy this little morsel and move on.
Number one resolution: grow a backbone. On this front, I'm succeeding, mostly. Little by little, anyway. I stood up for myself, and am continuing to stand up for myself at my current job. That is good. There is room for improvement, however. I need to be able to keep that backbone, and transfer it to other situations. Like moving forward, for instance. I need to make two phone calls that I'm scared to make. One to the technical college where I hope to enroll as soon as possible, and the other to the county to see if we can possibly keep our badgercare insurance, especially now that I am moving to part time and becoming a student. Hopefully. Goal: By the middle of next week, have made both of those phone calls, with movement toward action.
Number two resolution: the perpetual 'lose 30 pounds' resolution. That one isn't going so well. I have a sweet tooth that you wouldn't believe. I crave fat, sugar, and all things bad for me. I don't make time for exercise.
I can do this. I can take control of myself, control my cravings and get my butt in gear, literally. I always feel better when I exercise, so why is it so hard to motivate to do? It shouldn't be.
Goals for this week: 1) Drink water all day. That will help to curb my fake hunger. Perhaps, when craving a snack-upon, drink a glass of water first. 2) Just say no. Recognize the cravings, then remember how much I'd like to lose this extra weight. How I hate to look at pictures of myself. How I want to not feel fat. And, 3) Exercise each day. Even if just a little. 10 minute walk here, 10 minutes of jumping on the trampoline there. Just something.
Humph. Not half an hour later, and I'm eating at tootsie roll. Boo. But, I did get a glass of water. Step one. I'll enjoy this little morsel and move on.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Simple Life
I like the simple life. Being able to do dishes with my husband is the kind of luxury you miss when working a million hours a week, coupled with said husband working pm shifts.
We got to do dishes together last night. After eating together, watching football together, taking our Christmas tree down together, playing with our daughter together. Normal, every day kind of stuff. The kind of stuff that really gets missed when you don't take the time to do it.
It was a great evening.
I like the simple life. I like to be able to do laundry and vacuum and cook and read a magazine in the morning and perhaps a book at night. I like just sitting on the floor playing toys with my daughter. I really like being home.
I've learned that about myself relatively recently. Don't get me wrong, I love adventure and traveling and going out and doing something. But I love to be home, doing simple, normal things.
Part of this change is to allow me to have that time, to be the mom I want to be; a mom with time for the normal stuff. I want my daughter to get sick of me, not to constantly miss me.
I've got the number to call to start LPN classes. I'm going to do it, today.
We celebrated Kings' Day yesterday, the Parra tradition. It didn't get to be all day, like it should be, since I worked until 3 pm. The kings were lazy, apparently, because they didn't make it under our tree until after dinner time, but Sofia was thrilled nonetheless. Los Reyes brought her stacks of books, which she actually seemed to like. I was extremely proud, too, that when she saw a few presents under the tree, she passed them out to her daddy and me, and then asked if there was one for her. Sharing. What a gem.
We got the tree taken down, we ate our lasagna and lemon meringue pie, drank our hot chocolate with candy canes, and even uncorked a bottle of wine.
We don't get as much family time, all of us together as we should. It was much needed.
We got to do dishes together last night. After eating together, watching football together, taking our Christmas tree down together, playing with our daughter together. Normal, every day kind of stuff. The kind of stuff that really gets missed when you don't take the time to do it.
It was a great evening.
I like the simple life. I like to be able to do laundry and vacuum and cook and read a magazine in the morning and perhaps a book at night. I like just sitting on the floor playing toys with my daughter. I really like being home.
I've learned that about myself relatively recently. Don't get me wrong, I love adventure and traveling and going out and doing something. But I love to be home, doing simple, normal things.
Part of this change is to allow me to have that time, to be the mom I want to be; a mom with time for the normal stuff. I want my daughter to get sick of me, not to constantly miss me.
I've got the number to call to start LPN classes. I'm going to do it, today.
We celebrated Kings' Day yesterday, the Parra tradition. It didn't get to be all day, like it should be, since I worked until 3 pm. The kings were lazy, apparently, because they didn't make it under our tree until after dinner time, but Sofia was thrilled nonetheless. Los Reyes brought her stacks of books, which she actually seemed to like. I was extremely proud, too, that when she saw a few presents under the tree, she passed them out to her daddy and me, and then asked if there was one for her. Sharing. What a gem.
We got the tree taken down, we ate our lasagna and lemon meringue pie, drank our hot chocolate with candy canes, and even uncorked a bottle of wine.
We don't get as much family time, all of us together as we should. It was much needed.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Another New Start
One year ago, we left the home we were building, jobless and hopeless, trying to find the optimism of the journey to come. I was finally going to find my dream, to listen for my calling and fulfill my vocation. And then life stepped in. I began, got my CNA, and then a full-time job. The prospect of having an actual paycheck was powerful, and I dropped the school ball. Then, I started working at the newspaper, and truly enjoyed it, especially at first. I wasn't making much money, but perhaps community news would be my calling. I stopped thinking of school.
After a while, though, I figured out I was being used. There really is no future here, not one that looks like my calling. I was getting angry, and losing time with my family.
The New Year came, and I found my nerve. Told my boss and my friend how I was feeling. And I took a leap.
I start part-time as soon as our new employee can begin. I'm losing a large portion of income, and am scared at how we are going to survive. The fear is outweighed by the prospect of continuing the dream I let slide by.
Maybe not. I'm still scared. I am looking forward, however, to actually getting in school, to actually listening to my calling, assuming I know what it is.
It begins now. I am tired of each year passing, time going through my fingers. I'm not getting older, I don't get these days back. I'm about to turn 29 years old. It's got to start now.
So, I'm dusting off my pencils, digging out my backpack. Whee!
After a while, though, I figured out I was being used. There really is no future here, not one that looks like my calling. I was getting angry, and losing time with my family.
The New Year came, and I found my nerve. Told my boss and my friend how I was feeling. And I took a leap.
I start part-time as soon as our new employee can begin. I'm losing a large portion of income, and am scared at how we are going to survive. The fear is outweighed by the prospect of continuing the dream I let slide by.
Maybe not. I'm still scared. I am looking forward, however, to actually getting in school, to actually listening to my calling, assuming I know what it is.
It begins now. I am tired of each year passing, time going through my fingers. I'm not getting older, I don't get these days back. I'm about to turn 29 years old. It's got to start now.
So, I'm dusting off my pencils, digging out my backpack. Whee!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Day One
So, the very first day of the year, and resolution number one started.
And I'm scared shitless.
That's okay. I told her. I told her that I am being overworked, that I need more consideration, that I don't like the way she's treating me.
And got hung up on. No, I'm not kidding.
And then dealt not with the boss, but with her husband. Until two hours ago, when they both came over and we had a 'meeting'. They had listened to my concerns, and had responses for them, though they still think I should be able to do it all and think I have time management problems. Whatever.
I think I am going to be part time, reporter and layout only. I am going to get back to what I meant to do a year ago; go back to school. Hopefully, I'll take Julio with me. I'm not sure how we'll swing it financially, but somehow we'll manage.
And I'm scared shitless.
That's okay. I told her. I told her that I am being overworked, that I need more consideration, that I don't like the way she's treating me.
And got hung up on. No, I'm not kidding.
And then dealt not with the boss, but with her husband. Until two hours ago, when they both came over and we had a 'meeting'. They had listened to my concerns, and had responses for them, though they still think I should be able to do it all and think I have time management problems. Whatever.
I think I am going to be part time, reporter and layout only. I am going to get back to what I meant to do a year ago; go back to school. Hopefully, I'll take Julio with me. I'm not sure how we'll swing it financially, but somehow we'll manage.
And just like that...2010
We have officially entered a new decade, and what better way to spend the very first day than...
sitting at work.
Exhausted.
I'm seriously questioning why, exactly, I am here. Because you know I am here alone. Yet, not allowed to go home.
This should be my resolution for 2010. Grow a backbone, woman.
Stop letting yourself get pushed around and used up.
I am worked hard, too hard, with nary a thought for my well being. I worked 9 and a half hours yesterday, only to be asked to take New Year's Eve pictures at night, and yes, please still be here by 8 am. My big rebellion was to be here by 8:15 (oooh, the rascal I am) and compose strong, direct email messages that will never be sent to the person who needs to read them.
I've got to talk to her.
I'm a simple person. I like to be home, doing simple things like making dinner, doing laundry, playing train tracks and doll house and Sesame Street characters with my family. I like to have time when it is light outside to go for a walk, take Sofia sledding, and just be fully present in my own life.
Right now, I'm working 50-60 hours a week, and I'm salaried, people. SALARIED. Which means, no over time. And lest you be fooled that it is a good salary, let me assure you that hourly, I'm making less than $6. And no benefits.
Yes, I know that this is a start-up newspaper. Yes, I know that my boss is incredibly busy with her family and the new babies and everything. Yet, she knew this was coming. She knew she was having twins and starting a new business, and she purposefully did not hire someone to help out during her absence. I don't see how this is my problem. I'm being used.
I have tried to talk to her about this, about needing more help, less work, less hours. I haven't been as direct or as strong-willed as I should be, however, and nothing is changing.
I need to grow a backbone. Tell her how this is affecting me, and demand change. I could earn more working 40 hours a week at Fleet Farm, and I bet they offer benefits.
The thing is, I enjoy this work. Just not all 60 hours of it. I like getting into the community, taking pictures, talking to interesting people. I like seeing the pages come together and having a product at the end to show what you've done, a product that people enjoy reading. I don't want to work at Fleet Farm.
Perhaps now is the time to look into school, for both my husband and myself. Perhaps there is a better fit for me somewhere else.
Because I am tired. Just like at my eyes.
So, welcome 2010. This year, I resolve to be strong, stand up for my needs.
Oh, yeah, and to lose 30 pounds. This time, I mean it.
sitting at work.
Exhausted.
I'm seriously questioning why, exactly, I am here. Because you know I am here alone. Yet, not allowed to go home.
This should be my resolution for 2010. Grow a backbone, woman.
Stop letting yourself get pushed around and used up.
I am worked hard, too hard, with nary a thought for my well being. I worked 9 and a half hours yesterday, only to be asked to take New Year's Eve pictures at night, and yes, please still be here by 8 am. My big rebellion was to be here by 8:15 (oooh, the rascal I am) and compose strong, direct email messages that will never be sent to the person who needs to read them.
I've got to talk to her.
I'm a simple person. I like to be home, doing simple things like making dinner, doing laundry, playing train tracks and doll house and Sesame Street characters with my family. I like to have time when it is light outside to go for a walk, take Sofia sledding, and just be fully present in my own life.
Right now, I'm working 50-60 hours a week, and I'm salaried, people. SALARIED. Which means, no over time. And lest you be fooled that it is a good salary, let me assure you that hourly, I'm making less than $6. And no benefits.
Yes, I know that this is a start-up newspaper. Yes, I know that my boss is incredibly busy with her family and the new babies and everything. Yet, she knew this was coming. She knew she was having twins and starting a new business, and she purposefully did not hire someone to help out during her absence. I don't see how this is my problem. I'm being used.
I have tried to talk to her about this, about needing more help, less work, less hours. I haven't been as direct or as strong-willed as I should be, however, and nothing is changing.
I need to grow a backbone. Tell her how this is affecting me, and demand change. I could earn more working 40 hours a week at Fleet Farm, and I bet they offer benefits.
The thing is, I enjoy this work. Just not all 60 hours of it. I like getting into the community, taking pictures, talking to interesting people. I like seeing the pages come together and having a product at the end to show what you've done, a product that people enjoy reading. I don't want to work at Fleet Farm.
Perhaps now is the time to look into school, for both my husband and myself. Perhaps there is a better fit for me somewhere else.
Because I am tired. Just like at my eyes.
So, welcome 2010. This year, I resolve to be strong, stand up for my needs.
Oh, yeah, and to lose 30 pounds. This time, I mean it.
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