Just Keep Swimming

Life just keeps blowing past at tornado speed, and I'm just not sure how we got here.

Sofia is still plugging away at the true test of big-girl-ness, and doing very well.  She hasn't yet won her big present, but is managing to stay dry most of the time, and has, on occasion, remembered to put number two where it belongs.  Still working on that, but we are so proud of her!  She's pretty proud of herself, too.  Walk into our bathroom and see the jar of M&M's; you'll know we have a toddler in the house.

Speaking of the toddler, she really isn't much of a toddler anymore.  She's all big girl.  She talks in full sentences with correct grammar, with only some mistakes.  She still calls it "sesareet", macamoni and cheese, and doesn't quite understand the difference between he and she.  However, she can recognize most letters and numbers, and surprised me the other day by saying, "p, p, p, p, Polar starts with P!"  She counts in both languages (though fourteen is still her nemesis), and is really improving at putting together puzzles. She used to get so frustrated when she couldn't get it right the first time, but she really concentrates to figure it out now.  She has an imagination that doesn't quit.  I love her stories and silly games and watching her play with her stuffed animals and dolls in all sorts of ways.  She sleeps with a menagerie, complete with bear, puppy, pink blanket, deer, and 'sesareet' which includes each of Big Bird, Elmo, Abby, Cookie Monster, Grover, and Kermit.  She loves the toddler doll she got for Christmas, which she has dubbed Tigger.  She plays catch, and sometimes actually catches the ball!  She loves to run run run everywhere.  She's quite the kid.

Sarah, Sofia and I went to DC this past week during a snowstorm (seriously, they have more snow than we do-by a lot!) to meet baby Anika and spend time with Johanna.  My niece is so precious; we all adore her.  Sofia especially.  She held her and caressed her and talked to her and loved on her.  Truly heart-melting.

Life at the paper is...well...I'm looking into school.  I'm tired of the drama, tired of the poor management, tired of constantly being blamed.  She really thinks I should be able to do all the reporting in just a few hours, and should be able to finish the paper all by myself.  Mondays have been long lately (though not 2 or 3 am, which is wonderful), but she leaves almost two hours before I get to.  Then, if there is a mistake (which there invariably is because I've been there for 16 hours), I get blamed for it.  Completely frustrating.

School, however, remains an abstract.  There are waiting lists on waiting lists, and I am ineligible for financial aid for an ADN (associates degree in nursing) since I already have a bachelor's degree.  I'm considering Physician's Assistant school, but there doesn't appear to be a program within an hour and a half from home.

I'm just ready for spring.  Everything feels better when there is sunshine and green grass outside.  

Mid-January Check-up

The month of January is half over, which is a good time for New Year's Resolution monitoring.
Number one resolution:  grow a backbone.  On this front, I'm succeeding, mostly.  Little by little, anyway.  I stood up for myself, and am continuing to stand up for myself at my current job.  That is good.  There is room for improvement, however.  I need to be able to keep that backbone, and transfer it to other situations.  Like moving forward, for instance.  I need to make two phone calls that I'm scared to make.  One to the technical college where I hope to enroll as soon as possible, and the other to the county to see if we can possibly keep our badgercare insurance, especially now that I am moving to part time and becoming a student.  Hopefully.  Goal:  By the middle of next week, have made both of those phone calls, with movement toward action.

Number two resolution:  the perpetual 'lose 30 pounds' resolution.  That one isn't going so well.  I have a sweet tooth that you wouldn't believe.  I crave fat, sugar, and all things bad for me.  I don't make time for exercise. 
I can do this.  I can take control of myself, control my cravings and get my butt in gear, literally.  I always feel better when I exercise, so why is it so hard to motivate to do?  It shouldn't be.
Goals for this week:  1)  Drink water all day.  That will help to curb my fake hunger.  Perhaps, when craving a snack-upon, drink a glass of water first.  2)  Just say no.  Recognize the cravings, then remember how much I'd like to lose this extra weight.  How I hate to look at pictures of myself.  How I want to not feel fat.  And, 3) Exercise each day.  Even if just a little.  10 minute walk here, 10 minutes of jumping on the trampoline there.  Just something. 
Humph.  Not half an hour later, and I'm eating at tootsie roll.  Boo.  But, I did get a glass of water.  Step one.  I'll enjoy this little morsel and move on.

Day One

So, the very first day of the year, and resolution number one started.

And I'm scared shitless.

That's okay.  I told her.  I told her that I am being overworked, that I need more consideration, that I don't like the way she's treating me.

And got hung up on.  No, I'm not kidding.

And then dealt not with the boss, but with her husband.  Until two hours ago, when they both came over and we had a 'meeting'.  They had listened to my concerns, and had responses for them, though they still think I should be able to do it all and think I have time management problems.  Whatever.

I think I am going to be part time, reporter and layout only.  I am going to get back to what I meant to do a year ago; go back to school.  Hopefully, I'll take Julio with me.  I'm not sure how we'll swing it financially, but somehow we'll manage.