Friday, January 1, 2010

And just like that...2010

We have officially entered a new decade, and what better way to spend the very first day than...
sitting at work. 
Exhausted. 

I'm seriously questioning why, exactly, I am here.  Because you know I am here alone.  Yet, not allowed to go home. 
This should be my resolution for 2010.  Grow a backbone, woman.
Stop letting yourself get pushed around and used up. 
I am worked hard, too hard, with nary a thought for my well being.  I worked 9 and a half hours yesterday, only to be asked to take New Year's Eve pictures at night, and yes, please still be here by 8 am.  My big rebellion was to be here by 8:15 (oooh, the rascal I am) and compose strong, direct email messages that will never be sent to the person who needs to read them. 
I've got to talk to her.
I'm a simple person.  I like to be home, doing simple things like making dinner, doing laundry, playing train tracks and doll house and Sesame Street characters with my family.  I like to have time when it is light outside to go for a walk, take Sofia sledding, and just be fully present in my own life.
Right now, I'm working 50-60 hours a week, and I'm salaried, people.  SALARIED.  Which means, no over time.  And lest you be fooled that it is a good salary, let me assure you that hourly, I'm making less than $6.  And no benefits.
Yes, I know that this is a start-up newspaper.  Yes, I know that my boss is incredibly busy with her family and the new babies and everything.  Yet, she knew this was coming.  She knew she was having twins and starting a new business, and she purposefully did not hire someone to help out during her absence.  I don't see how this is my problem.  I'm being used.
I have tried to talk to her about this, about needing more help, less work, less hours.  I haven't been as direct or as strong-willed as I should be, however, and nothing is changing.
I need to grow a backbone.  Tell her how this is affecting me, and demand change.  I could earn more working 40 hours a week at Fleet Farm, and I bet they offer benefits. 
The thing is, I enjoy this work.  Just not all 60 hours of it.  I like getting into the community, taking pictures, talking to interesting people.  I like seeing the pages come together and having a product at the end to show what you've done, a product that people enjoy reading.  I don't want to work at Fleet Farm. 
Perhaps now is the time to look into school, for both my husband and myself.  Perhaps there is a better fit for me somewhere else.
Because I am tired.  Just like at my eyes.
So, welcome 2010.  This year, I resolve to be strong, stand up for my needs. 
Oh, yeah, and to lose 30 pounds.  This time, I mean it.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yay, Becca!! Let's talk soon! Miss you.