I Get it Now. Sorry, Mom.

I am a second child.  Not only am I a second child, I am a middle child.  A poor, neglected middle child.  My whole life, I wanted to be sure that I filled out the second baby's baby book.  Took just as many pictures.  Did everything as close to the same as I did with the first one.  I'm not yet 20 weeks pregnant with my second, and am already failing in my quest.  I don't even own a pregnancy book, yet with Sofia, I had each page filled out to the minute.  I haven't taken a single belly picture yet.  Now, for a normal pregnant woman, this would be no big deal.  For me, however?  I took a belly picture nearly every week starting at 12 weeks with Sofia.  When pregnant with Sofia, I practically had the crib set up by 20 weeks.  I don't even know if we have a place to put a crib with this baby, and have bought nothing save a cute Christmas outfit I found on clearance back in January.  We sort of, maybe, kind of, have a possible list of maybe-names, but definitely have not even come close to deciding first or middle name yet.  For boy or girl.  I don't sing to this baby like I did to Sofia (i know, sick.  I was that pregnant person), don't talk to it as much as I did to Sofia.  I do read and sing to Baby's big sister, so he/she sort of gets the benefit, right?
Not that we aren't as excited as we were with Sofia.  We're thrilled.  Every little kick is like a celebration, and watching my belly get bigger gives us all such a thrill.  We find out in one week if Chickadee is a boy or a girl,  get to see his/her face looking like an actual baby and not a blob.  I am so blessed and honored to be able to do this again, to be mom to another amazing human being.  It's just that, we've done this before.  Everything isn't new.  We tried for so long and so hard to get pregnant with a baby that stuck, and it felt like every new thing with that pregnancy was a prize that I never thought I'd be able to experience.  This time, knock on wood, it just worked.  We didn't have any losses between Sofia and Chickadee (thank goodness).  Life keeps moving quickly, with a preschooler taking energy, the farm, school, work, sometimes that baby just gets forgotten.  Then, I'll feel a little wiggle in my belly, and get a huge grin remembering the miracle that is inside me right now.
So, Mom, I get it.  Second babies, just like you've always said, are just as loved as their siblings, it is just harder to do all the tangible things that show it.  I swear, though, I am going to take as many pictures of this baby.  I am.  I am going to read stories to just my little one, going to give him/her the time alone with just Mom.  Somehow, some way.  Chickadee needs it, and so do I.