Finding Motivation

So, how does one find motivation?

I'm falling off my work-out wagon again. My get-skinny-before-getting-pregnant-again agenda. I always have an excuse, and most of them are valid! I'm tired. It is dark. The mosquitoes are bad. Sofia woke up three times last night. I have to work late. My sports bras are all dirty. I'll do it later. I'll be better tomorrow. And all of a sudden tomorrow becomes next week and you realize you haven't been on a walk/run in over 7 days. That you are slacking.

So, I need to find my motivation. That part inside of myself that wants this, for me. That wants that extra flubber off my middle and wants to put on a swimming suit and not dash for the cover-up. The me that glances in the mirror and sees what she remembers.

I need to make the time for me. I feel guilty whenever I take a minute to do something that isn't for the house, or for my daughter, or for my husband, or for my dog, or for my extended family, or for a friend, or for my work. Something that benefits ME. When I go for a walk, I always take my daughter. Why? Because she likes it. Because I need time with her. Because I like it. But it is also not just for me that way. When I search for motivation, I think first of how I want my husband to see me (though he always tells me I'm beautiful, and I know he always means it) how I looked when we met. Because that way this journey is also for him, not just for me.

Why is it so hard for me to recognize that I need this? That it is mine, that my health and my self-confidence are what is at stake?

I think moms could do with being more selfish sometimes. In the end, a happy well-rounded mother benefits everyone.